a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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