You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I need a beard to bite.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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