Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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