I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
