Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
