glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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