shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
