Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
