I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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