yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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