You just made me feel so damn special
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
