Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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