question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
