just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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