did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
This girl is more easily done than said...
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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