I will die if light touches me.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Sorry about my life...
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
