I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
