That's intense
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
