You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
