The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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