Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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