So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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