Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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