I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize