All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize