I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Just invented taco cereal.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
