if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
