You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize