So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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