I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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