Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
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