alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
