Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
you had me at cake vodka
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
