Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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