He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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