I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
