i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
