Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
