y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
