Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Sober January is a disaster.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
