would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
