no. you can't hotbox the world.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
