There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
