I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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