I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize