You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
