why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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