Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
