I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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