I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
