I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
