put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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