wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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