You can't special order awesome
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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