Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
they call him Oral-B. enough said
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
FUCK WHALES
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
