i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
