So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
