You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
