Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
